Wednesday, December 04, 2013

A Very Prestigious Award


Have you met my friend Heather? She’s awesome. We knew each other before we met. (We followed each other’s blogs before we met IRL when she pitched me an idea at a writer’s conference. In fact we didn’t realize that she was her and I was me until we exchanged cards at the end of our conversation. True story.) We were a match made in the place where mutual snark comes from.
So, last week somewhat recently, I received the dubious honor of being nominated for a Liebster award from Heather. Dubious because it involves work and then you are asked to pay it forward, in a way. It’s like a leg lamp from Italy, this honor, complete with fringes that are the strings of responsibility of what one must do when bestowed with this grand International award. To wit:
1.     Write 11 random things about yourself (this will not be difficult for me as random things are my currency).
2.     Answer those questions asked of me (also, not difficult).
3.     Nominate & notify 11 bloggers of their own Liebster award nominations (somewhat difficult).
4.     Ask 11 questions of my nominees (deep thought time).
5.     Link back to my original nominator (I’m vexed that “nomineer” is not a word. I prefer it in this instance).
Heather, along with being my snark-sharing friend, is the author to my editor (literally: I’m the editor of her books {the latest of which is brand new this week!} and her co-editor on a community blogging site) and also one with whom I share far too many inside jokes (Thanks, Hermans!) is the blogging sensei to my grasshopper. She was granted this honor from another blogger who said the goal was to connect bloggers, especially those of us who may not have a bazillion followers. I’m down with that.
So, here are my entries to fulfill my nomination (and get Heather off my back. I kid! I would happily give Heather a piggyback anytime), 11 random things:
1.     I recently went on a de-cluttering bender and gathered all the random notebooks in one place. Pretty much all of them had a page somewhere inside of them with something written on it. Most of it was nonsensical.
2.     From about the age of 16, I bleached my hair so much it was an addiction. By the time I was about 19, I was using packaged bleach about twice a month (usually those hairpainting kits, but not for highlights; on my whole head), and would spray peroxide on my hair when I blow-dried it. I stopped when my hair finally had enough. I still miss my platinum hair. I had a dream last night where I was teaching a class on how to properly apply peroxide to achieve the best level of blonding.
3.     I got my first tattoo on a dare. I wanted one but couldn’t commit and my BFF dared me that if I jumped in the lake with all my clothes on, she would pay for my tattoo. So I did. I was 18. My mom, who had enthusiastically proclaimed a wistful longing for the guts to have gotten a tattoo pretty much choked on her tongue when I showed her that I got it. My dad sort of grunted and nodded, fidgeted with the coins he carried for such purposes (my teen years might partially explain why said coins were worn so smooth).
4.     My kids have asked me if they have to get tattoos when they grow up because they really don’t want to. I fear that despite all of my open-mindedness, I’m raising conservative little Alex P. Keatons. INTERVENTION!
5.     The quote that resonated with me most about parenthood was when a therapist told me that the thing that separates “us” from “them” (them being the people who do horrible things) is that we don’t act on them. Pretty much everyone has horrible thoughts, and that’s okay.
6.     The second parenting quote that resonated with me was when I read that Flea (the bassist from the Red Hot Chili Peppers), a guy who I think is beyond cool, has a teenage daughter who thinks he’s a dork.
7.     I could easily spend the GNP of a small (fine; medium) country on books and music every month.
8.     I love snow. I love the smell of snow before it falls, I love the way it looks when it’s falling, I love driving in snow. Ice I hate. Slush is gross. But snow is awesome. And snow is in our forecast for the next few days, up to half a foot, which means we might get a light dusting and lots of ice.
9.     One year in grade school, my mom bought me a rainbow of corduroy pants instead of jeans. This has scarred me and made me leery of colored pants ever since. The next year, I had a few identical pairs of jeans and two kids teamed up to tease me about wearing the same pants every day (First; who cares if I did? Second; I didn’t. Third; who cares?) and this has scarred me into thinking that people actually pay attention to what I wear, which I finally realized is not the case.
10.   I was relieved when I turned 30 and absolutely joyous when I turned 40.
11.   I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
Here are my answers to Heather’s questions for me:
  1. With what celebrity would you want to be BFFs?
    Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Because they’re a twofer and I love them.
  2. What style of underwear do you prefer?
    That information is kept on a strictly need-to-know basis, but I will tell you that it’s cotton because that’s how I roll.
  3. What candy is hidden in your house right now?
    Hot Tamales. And they’re not hidden in my house, they’re hidden in my car so as to be far away from anyone else’s grubby little (or regular sized) hands. Shhh, don’t tell.
  4. Karaoke night—you and me—what do we sing together?
    ALL. THE. SONGS. Seriously, karaoke is so much fun. I want to do karaoke all the time. We need to sing “I Got You Babe” and maybe “Bootylicious” because I don’t know a lot of duets but I do know my Destiny’s Child, yo. Oh and I decided yesterday as I was singing in my car that I must sing “Gimme Three Steps” from Lynyrd Skynyrd.
  5. Celebrity Wife Swap: Which celebrity would you swap with?
    So what Hollywood wife do I want to inflict upon my husband whilst I gallivant around with a hottie? Now, there’s a good question. I’d like to swap with someone who has a large household staff, to ensure that they bring half of said staff to my house so I come home to a clean house such that I’ve never seen before. The actual celebrity is inconsequential; I want his professional staff. And maybe his AMEX black card for an afternoon. Mama needs a Hermans handbag.
  6. What was the last thing you bought at Goodwill or a second-hand store?
    Jeans. And I’m wearing them right now.
  7. Have you ever broken the law? (No … Speeding doesn’t count.)
    The better question is “have you ever been found guilty of breaking the law?” to which I can honestly say nope.
  8. When was the last time you vacuumed your home?
    I just did it this week! I hate vacuuming. I hate housework. It just keeps needing to get done. I much prefer projects with an end, this ongoing thing is for the birds. Usually this is a task relegated to my children.
  9. What’s your go-to meal to cook when you just can’t think of anything creative to cook?
    Dominos pizza has an app for that.
  10. In what ways have you turned into your mother?
    I drink the wine. But the most disturbing thing is when I hear my dad’s words come out of my mouth… “that’s not necessary” was a favorite of his.
  11. What things did you forsake in order to complete this blog post?
    Practicing my guitar.
And here are MY nominees for the Liebster award. They’re supposed to be blogs with fewer than 3000 followers, but I have no idea how many followers these ladies have. Also, I chose them because I love reading their words, and I think you will too. Go check them out and give them some love! Some of them have more professional blogs and I don’t expect they might do the questions, but I’m totally giving them a shout here anyway.
1.    Jennifer James McCollum who is the voice of Generation X and someone you should know.
2.    Lisa LynnMarotta, good friend and smart doctor of feelings.
3.    ShelHarrington, a divorce lawyer who gives brilliant marriage advice.
4.    Marisa Mohi, who, because of a hole in the time/space continuum, is me, many years ago.
5.    Shannon Fields, single mom of two and wicked funny writer.
6.    Melisa Wells who probably has a majillion and three followers so is obviously awesome.
7.    Tiffani Hill-Patterson who is one of the best writers I know along with being one of the best people I know. And she doesn’t write nearly enough for me.
8.     Katie Johnstonbaugh because she's kind and sweet and her blog is delicious.
9.     Stephanie Clinton, who is a reality-based parent (love that) and someone I recently had a chance to meet and hug.
10.   Brandi Barnett because we fell in love at first sight.
11. Kathryn Doran because I know that if we ever get a chance to meet IRL, I'll be all giggly.

And should they choose to accept the honor, here are their 11 random questions to answer:
1.    What's the furthest away from home you've traveled?
2.    We're in detention with the cast of The Breakfast Club, in the library, sharing our "special skills." What's yours?
3.     We all have guilty pleasures--but what's your guilty thing you hate to admit that you hate?
4.     What was your favorite game or toy as a nine year old?
5.     Do you have a favorite day of the week?
6.     We're going on a road trip! What snacks do you bring?
7.     We're still on a road trip! Who will you travel with: Kimye (Kim Kardashian & Kanye West) or Brangelina (Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie)? Discuss.
8.     You're writing a letter from your 15 year old self to your whatever age you are now self. What hot tip would you advise yourself of to make life just a smidge easier?
9.     We're going trick or treating! What treats will you steal from my candy bag?
10.   Do you have a favorite color? What is it? Why?
11.  How do you respond to telemarketers on the phone?

1 comment:

  1. Thank you Mari for the generous Shout Out, prestigious nomination, and thought provoking questions. I will gladly answer your questions in person, because they are fun- but I am not so sure that anyone else would like to know except mayhaps Kimye or Brangelina (who might some day be traveling companions and are curious about what snacks I might be bringing). Today I will be blog hopping to your other nominees, who are also honored to be your friend in real life or in blogdom. Thanks again for thinking of me Mari!

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