Monday, March 30, 2015

Divergency

Mom, is it weird that I like this? ... Is it weird that I think this? ... Is it weird that I don't like that?

I get a lot of this from my 10 year old, a remarkable young girl who loves reading and justice, who doesn't abide bullshit. The overthinker who will probably write that book before she's 18, while I've been talking about writing my book since way before she was born. She's the one who makes things happen. The girl who breaks big concepts down into a sound bite, a skill she developed as a preschooler.

A few years ago, she got in trouble for calling a girl a bad word. I won't share the word here, but I can tell you that she claimed to have been comparing the girl to a kitty but later, when I got her in a quiet, safe place where she felt like she could talk, she told me she knew what she was saying about this girl, this popular mean girl who sat in judgement on the rest of the girls in school, who determined who was cool and who was not. She saw through it. Why does she have so many friends if she's mean, Mom? I can't answer that. We talk about what it means and about how people who are hurting like to hurt people, as evidenced by the words she herself used. She got it.

All I can do is offer encouragement. Remind her that she will find her people, but it might take a little while. That she is enough. Sometimes she's more than enough because she likes to live her life at a higher vibration, and sometimes this gets her into trouble because she doesn't understand her boundaries yet.

I build her up with a foundation of belief, of encouragement, by demanding she excel and stretch herself to always do her best, no matter what she's doing. To consider the ripple that her actions have on those around her.

She returns with compassion. She meets life with a smile. Yes, she wants your acceptance, your friendship, but she knows that she won't crumble without it.

Sometimes I want to hit her with my own barrage of questions. Is it weird that I love how you question things? Is it weird that your courage inspires me?

She does things I can't do, the things that paralyze me with fear. I am encouraged to listen to my own advice, to trust in myself and know that I'm enough, too.

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