Friday, August 05, 2016

Apples Schmapples

What do you do when nobody will play Apples to Apples with you?

If you're my kid, you make up your own game where you match red cards and green cards and make your own rules for life. How could I not get engaged in that conversation?


"So you're not a fan, then?"

"No, like, that sounds like something she would say." [mimics an exaggerated pageant walk with extreme facial expressions]


"So, you're captivated by boys who love ponies?"

"No. They're captivated by ponies, they're all like [mimics goo-goo eyes at an imaginary pony. I swear her pupils dilated all on their own]. It's crazy."


"I mean, if you have an opportunity to photo bomb, why wouldn't you?" [mimics jumping out and smiling and making faces]

"Indeed."


"Do you even know what NSFW means?"

[calls to her teenage brother] "Uh, not suitable for work. You shouldn't use them."

"(Big sigh) Whatevs."


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